| Do you remember Ann Landers, the advice columnist? Recently, readers were asked to send their favorite Ann Landers columns in, and this is one that made the top ten. Ann Landers – An Inheritance Is A Gift, Not A Right By Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Ann: Let this letter be a wake-up call to all sons, daughters, and grandchildren. The message I want to convey is this: YOUR INHERITANCE IS NOT AUTOMATIC. IT’S A GIFT. I am an estate planner. Over the last several years, I have seen many clients change their wills, bypassing children and grandchildren, and leave their money to friends, charities, and people they once worked with who were kind and helpful. There are many reasons for changing a will, but the two most common are disrespect and isolation. In some families, the only time the old folks see the grandchildren is when their parents need a favor–usually, it’s money. So, the message the old folks wish to convey is as follows: “You didn’t make time for me when I was lonely and would have enjoyed your company, so why should I leave you the money I worked for all my life?” Wake up out there. An inheritance isn’t something that is owed to you. It is a gift of love. When there is no love, there should be no gift. — Manasota, Fla. |
There Are Many Reasons People Change Their Wills
After reading Ann Landers’ column, I am inspired to share some insights from my experience.
Here are the top ten reasons to disinherit a family member:
Unintended Consequences: A frequent and by far the most painful disinheritance occurs when someone leaves everything to a spouse and relies on the spouse’s promise to include your child (and their stepchild) in their estate in the future. Once the parent is gone, there’s no guarantee that the spouse will fulfill this promise, especially if there are strained relationships or conflicts within the family.
Strained Relationships: People write family members out of their will and trust when there is a history of conflict, lack of communication, or emotional estrangement. Past histories of turmoil are not easily forgotten.
Financial Irresponsibility: Concerns about a family member’s inability to manage money responsibly may lead one to redirect assets elsewhere, leave specific instructions, create conditions for inheritance, or designate a financial advisor to oversee disbursements on behalf of the beneficiary.
Disapproval of Lifestyle Choices: Disagreements over a family member’s lifestyle choices, substance abuse, or criminal behavior may influence the decision to include a family member in the estate plan.
Lack of Involvement: Failure to maintain a relationship over the years leaves a person less inclined to include another in the estate.
Caregiver Contributions: Sometimes, the fact that family members have already been provided significant care or support is the reason for disinheritance.
Concerns About the Influence of Others: The fear that a family member will be under the influence of a disliked spouse or others may be a reason to disinherit an heir.
Protecting Heirs: In some cases, a person may choose to disinherit an heir to protect them from predators, creditors, or their own poor decision-making, thereby safeguarding the legacy and assets for future generations.
Fairness Among Heirs: Sometimes, disinheritance can be used to ensure a fair distribution among heirs, especially if one family member has already received significant support or a larger share previously.
Personal Wishes: Ultimately, a person may choose to disinherit family members simply because they feel strongly that their estate should go elsewhere, whether for charitable, philosophical, ethical, moral, or other personal reasons.
Disinheriting a family member, whether by accident or by choice, is significant and may impact many generations. Make sure that your estate plan is well thought out and that your choices are well thought out, properly documented, and legally enforceable.
Broccoli Slaw
Summer BBQs and picnics are right around the corner! Up your traditional coleslaw game with this easy broccoli slaw that packs a punch in both flavor and nutrients.
For the Dressing:
- 1 c. mayonnaise
- 3 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
- 2 tbsp. honey
- 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
- 1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
For the Slaw:
- 12 oz. broccoli slaw mix
- 1 c. small broccoli florets (from 1 crown)
- 1 c. matchstick carrots
- 1 c. shredded red cabbage
- 1 c. sliced green onions
- 1 c. raisins
- 1/2 c. roasted salted sunflower kernels, plus more for serving
Directions:
- For the dressing: Whisk together the mayonnaise, vinegar, honey, salt, and pepper in a large bowl until smooth.
- For the slaw: Add the broccoli slaw, broccoli florets, carrots, cabbage, green onions, raisins, and sunflower kernels to the dressing; stir to combine. Cover and refrigerate 1 hour or overnight.
- Top with more sunflower kernels just before serving, if you like.
- Enjoy!
