Understanding the Intersection of Love and Law

In the grand tapestry of life, relationships weave intricate patterns of joy, love, and companionship. However, beneath the surface of every connection lies an inevitable truth: all relationships will come to an end, whether through death or divorce. While the excitement of everlasting love is thrilling, the reality that all human relationships come to an end is a harsh reality. As an attorney, understanding and addressing this reality is essential in guiding individuals through the complexities of planning for the future.

Love is wonderful—joyful moments, shared dreams for the future, and yes, some legal considerations too. In the realm of estate planning, the end of a relationship—whether by death or divorce—is not a matter of “if,” but “when.” Sadly, every relationship eventually will come to an end. When that happens, the most important thing is how you have planned for that ending. Your planning (or lack thereof) will impact you, your loved ones, your children, your family, and your assets. Recognizing this fundamental truth empowers individuals to take proactive steps to protect their assets, ensure the well-being of loved ones, and leave a legacy that reflects their values and wishes.

Some Things are Certain

As many of you know, I have had the experience of losing a spouse. I have walked that path and know well how life-shattering the emotional and financial realities of that loss can be. During this emotionally challenging time, estate planning serves as a compass, providing clarity and guidance amidst grief. From wills and trusts to advance directives and powers of attorney, thoughtful planning allows individuals to outline their healthcare preferences with precision and care, dictate the distribution of their assets, nominate guardians for minor children, and care for those they leave behind. For married couples, the law in the state where you reside at the time of death has a “default plan” that you fall into IF you have not done your own estate planning. That’s right! Your legislators have chosen a default plan you will fall into if you have not made your own legally effective plan. That default plan set up by your state legislators may or may not align with your personal preferences or the life you’ve built with your loved ones.

The Silver Lining: Protecting Your Property and Legacy

The silver lining? While we can’t prevent the end of relationships, we can prepare for it with compassion and strategic planning, which helps make the end the best possible foundation for a new beginning.

No matter who you are and how much you have or don’t have, the absence of a plan could leave you and your loved ones vulnerable. You can risk losing assets or being unable to make crucial decisions about your property, your business, your children, or your medical choices. Ownership rights of your family can be disrupted without clear, legally effective planning documents. Make sure your home is left in the hands of those you choose in the event of your death. Don’t leave your family of origin in dispute with the family you have chosen to do life with. Any business you own, including businesses owned with your partner, could be jeopardized without clear, legally effective planning and instructions. Don’t leave your loved ones in the position of finding themselves facing homelessness or significant financial loss without a rightful claim to the wealth you have worked for together.

In the unfortunate event of a medical emergency where one partner becomes incapacitated, lacking appropriate legal documentation could impede the other partner’s ability to make critical healthcare decisions on their behalf. This can lead to delays in medical treatment or disagreements among family members over the person’s treatment, causing unnecessary stress and complications during an already challenging time.

For couples with children, failing to establish guardianship arrangements in the event of both parent’s incapacity or death can have devastating consequences. Without a designated guardian, children may be placed in the care of individuals who may not align with your wishes or values, leading to potential custody battles and emotional upheaval for the children and your extended family. If you and your partner end your relationship without mutually agreeing on who may be a guardian for your children, things could get even more chaotic—especially if one of you has documented your desired guardian and the other partner hasn’t. Worst of all, typical wills don’t adequately plan for the needs of minor children. That’s why I offer the Children’s Protection Plan, specifically designed to ensure your children are never raised by anyone other than people you know, love, and trust and are never taken from your home into the care of strangers.

In each of the scenarios above, the absence of proactive estate planning measures leaves individuals vulnerable to legal and financial uncertainties. By taking proactive steps that consider what will happen when your relationship ends, couples can safeguard their assets, ensure their wishes are honored, and provide peace of mind for themselves and their loved ones.

My Role as Your Attorney

In the journey of life, relationships ebb and flow, but their endings are an inevitable part of the human experience. Through estate planning, individuals can confront the reality of death and divorce with grace and foresight, ensuring their legacy endures long after they are gone. As an estate planning attorney, I am dedicated to helping individuals chart a course that honors their past, protects their present, and safeguards their future. One of the best parts of my role is that it extends far beyond the legal realm—it is rooted in empathy, understanding, and a commitment to helping individuals navigate the what-ifs and complexities of the future.

Ready to get the conversation started? Give Cris Carter Law a call today.

Old-Fashioned Strawberry-Rhubarb Crisp

Sweet, tangy, and oh-so-deliciously tempting, this dessert is the perfect ending to a meal (or a delicious start to the day with coffee!).

Ingredients:

Filling

  • 2 pounds rhubarb stalks, sliced 1/2-inch thick
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
  • 1 pound strawberries, hulled and quartered
  • 3 tablespoons cornstarch
  • 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Topping

  • 1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/4 cups quick-cooking rolled oats
  • 3 tablespoons canola oil
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. In a bowl, toss the rhubarb with 3/4 cup of the sugar and let stand for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. In another bowl, toss the strawberries with the remaining 1/2 cup sugar and let stand for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the rhubarb to the strawberries; discard any rhubarb juice. Add the cornstarch, lemon juice, and vanilla to the fruit and stir well.
Transfer the mixture to a 9- x 13-inch glass baking dish.

3. For the topping, combine all of the ingredients in a medium bowl. Using a pastry blender or your fingers, mix the ingredients together until large crumbs form.

4. Sprinkle the topping evenly over the filling and bake for 30 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 325°F and continue baking for about 30 minutes longer, until the fruit filling is bubbling and the topping is nicely browned.

5. Let the crisp rest for 10 to 20 minutes before serving. Serve with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

6. Enjoy!
Food And Wine: Old-Fashioned Strawberry-Rhubarb Crisp

Lessons Learned in Care Giving

I recently had the opportunity to try on a new skill set due to circumstance, not choice. Luckily, exploring the role of caregiving opened my eyes to the intricate dance involving responsibility, compassion, and kindness. As I embarked on the journey of full-time (but thankfully short-term) caregiving, my mind kept reminding me, “You Are NOT a nurse; you NEVER EVER wanted to be a nurse! You are an attorney.” It became obvious to me that the skill set that had allowed me much success as an attorney throughout my life did not translate seamlessly into caretaking finesse.

So what did I do? I charged into this nursing role like I would any legal problem; like a warrior. I worked really hard, physically and emotionally, to be the best caretaker I could be. I worked hard to understand the medical terminology, communicate with doctors, nurses, and support staff, juggle medications, manage meals and physical care, and the list goes on and on. Could I nurse? Yes. Was I great at it? No. There were times when I felt I had done a task well, but face it, my bedside manner left a lot to be desired.

Talk about overwhelming! I searched for the lesson and the learning. What I found was a dose of humility and a profound respect for those who are caregivers. Only after I was nearing the end did I realize how much easier it would be next time. Let me share some tips and insights with you should you become a caretaker. From maintaining balance to self-care to strategies for providing the best care for your loved ones, I hope these tips provide insight, and perhaps support, for when you need it.

1. Create a Routine: A daily routine helps create a sense of security and predictability for the patient. This can also reduce the stress on caregivers.

2. Practice Self-Care: As a caregiver, it’s easy to forget about your own needs. Make sure to carve out time for yourself – whether that is exercise, reading, or simply taking a quiet moment to breathe.

3. Communicate Often: Keep the lines of communication open. Ask about your patient’s needs, their feelings, and any changes they may be experiencing. Don’t think you know it all, or that you know best. Listening to the patient can lead to better care and mutual respect. (Remember: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know!)

4. You are Not Alone: Ask for help. Realize that people don’t know what you need. Tell them what you need and ask for help. You will be surprised at the number of people that will say yes and offer to help. There are also support groups and community resources that can provide much-needed emotional support, as well as practical advice and resources.

5. Stay Organized: Keep track of medications, appointments, and important documents. Do not rely on your memory or the patient’s memory. Keep a notebook or use a phone app or other online tools to help manage all the details.

6. Learn About Your Patient’s Condition: Education is key. Attend appointments and ask questions. If your patient has a specific health condition, educate yourself about it. The more you understand their condition, the better you can manage their care.

7. Be Patient: Caregiving can be challenging and frustrating at times. Remember to be patient – with your loved one and yourself. It’s okay if everything doesn’t go perfectly. You’re doing your best. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. You’re not alone in this journey.

Spring Pea Pesto

Quick, easy, versatile, and deliciously vibrant! Use this as a dip, spread, or sauce for pasta. Welcome, spring!

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups peas, either frozen and thawed- or use fresh English peas
  • 1/2 cup packed mixed herbs- mint, tarragon or dill
  • zest of one lemon
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon minced chives or green onion
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/8 cup olive oil
Directions:In a food processor add peas, mixed herbs, lemon zest, lemon juice, chives (or green onion), salt, pepper and olive oil.Pulse for a few minutes until the peas break down but are still textured.Serve immediately or store in the fridge for 3 days.Enjoy!
Feasting At Home: Spring Pea Pesto