Solving Family Conflict Before It Starts

No matter how well you think you know your loved ones, it’s impossible to predict how they’ll behave when you die or if you become incapacitated. No one wants to believe that their family members would ever end up fighting one another in court over inheritance issues or a loved one’s life-saving medical treatment, but the fact is, as attorneys we see it all the time. 

Every family has challenges. The dynamics between family members can be extremely complicated even during the best of times. During the good times, we can handle challenges between family members or we may sweep them under the rug. However, traumatic events that are life-changing cause people to react and act out in ways that we would never have imagined possible. Once a tragic event occurs, even minor tensions and disagreements can explode into bitter conflict.

The good news is you can dramatically reduce the chances of problems arising by working with an experienced estate planning lawyer, who understands these family dynamics, anticipates what could lead to a problem, and is adept at solving problems before they start.

Let’s look at some of the leading causes that can become problems in your estate plan, so that you can be in a better position to prevent those problems before they happen. Though it’s impossible to predict how your loved ones will react when a traumatic life event occurs, the following issues are among the most common reasons that problems occur. 

Choosing the Wrong Person

Many estate planning disputes occur when the person chosen to handle your affairs following your incapacity or death fails to properly carry out their responsibilities. Whether it’s as your agent named in your power of attorney, your personal representative named in your will, or your trustee named in your living trust, these roles can entail a variety of different duties, some of which can last for years. 

The individual you select (also known as a fiduciary in legal jargon) is legally required to execute those duties and act in the best interest of those loved ones named in your planning. The failure to fulfill the required duties or act in the best interest of those that are to benefit from your estate planning is a breach of the legal requirements they must abide by. The breach can be the result of the person’s deliberate action, or it could be something they do unintentionally by mistake. Either way, a breach—or even the perception of one—can cause real and understandable conflict between your loved ones.

Common breaches include failing to provide required accounting and tax information to beneficiaries, improperly using estate or trust assets in ways that are not authorized by your estate plan, making improper distributions, and failing to pay taxes, debts, and expenses owed by the estate or trust, to name a few.

Solution: Given the potentially immense responsibilities involved, the solution is to be extremely careful when selecting the person(s) who will handle your legal and financial affairs. Make sure everyone in your family knows why you chose the person(s) you did, and that the person you chose knows how to do the job. Choose the most honest, trustworthy, and diligent individuals, and be careful not to select those who already have or might have bad relationships or conflicts of interest with your loved ones. 

Objecting or Contesting a Will or Trust

So what happens when someone objects to what you have done? What if a disgruntled family member seeks to get more than what they were to receive in the estate plan you left? Your will and/or trust can be contested in court for a few different reasons, such as if it’s believed you were tricked or coerced into changing your plan by an unscrupulous caregiver. Your estate plan can be challenged if someone, even a family member exercised undue influence, coerced another or the document was prepared based upon fraud. If such a contest is successful, the court can declare your will or trust invalid. Where does that leave you? When a court declares a will or trust invalid it effectively means the document(s) never existed in the first place. This could be disastrous for everyone involved, especially your loved ones. 

However, just because someone disagrees with what they received in your will or trust doesn’t mean that they can contest it. Whether or not the individual agrees with the terms of your plan is irrelevant—it is your plan after all. Rather, they must prove that your plan is invalid (and should be thrown out) based on one or more of the following legal grounds: 

• The document was improperly executed (signed, witnessed, and/or notarized) as required by state law. 
• You did not have the necessary mental capacity at the time you created the document to understand what you were doing. 
• Someone unduly influenced or coerced you into creating or changing the document. 
• The document was procured by fraud. 

Additionally, there is a requirement that only those individuals with “legal standing” can contest your will or trust. Those with the potential for legal standing generally fall into two categories: 1) family members who would inherit—or inherit more—under state law if you never created the document, and 2) beneficiaries (family, friends, and charities) named or given a larger bequest in a previous version of your estate plan. If you are in a second (or more) marriage, with children from a prior relationship, your children and spouse may have conflicting interests, which can lead to a will contest pitting one family member against another.

Solution: The solution is to make sure your plan is properly created and maintained to ensure these individuals will not have any legal ground to contest your will or trust. One way you can do this is to include clear language that you are making the choices laid out in your plan of your own free will, so no one will be able to challenge your wishes by claiming your incapacity or duress. 

Beyond having a sound plan in place, it’s also important that you communicate your intentions to everyone affected by your will or trust while you’re still alive, rather than having them learn about it when you’re no longer around. We often recommend holding a family meeting (which we can help facilitate) to go over everything with all impacted parties which allows for smoother transitions.

Prevent Disputes Before They Happen

As an attorney, we know the best way to deal with not having disputes arise from an estate plan is to dot the i’s and cross the t’s. We know how to do everything possible to make sure that problems never occur in the first place. (This is also why we see so many DIY plans done on Legal Zoom, Rocket Lawyer or the hundreds of other online services fail time and time again after the fact, when it is too late to correct the plan and your loved ones are out of luck). People don’t know what they don’t know especially when it comes to estate planning. We can put planning strategies in place proactively; strategies that are aimed at anticipating and avoiding conflict and problems. We also help you understand that your estate plan has to be reviewed and updated to keep pace with your changing circumstances and family dynamics.

Whether the potential dispute arises from disgruntled heirs, sibling rivalries, or the conflicting interests of members of your blended family we are specifically trained to predict and prevent such conflicts. Meet with us today to learn more.