Don’t Let The Online Spooks Haunt You!

It has been exciting to welcome all things fall recently. However, this email is about things that may haunt you and cause you difficulties and suffering. So, pardon me if I get a bit more serious this go-round, as October is Cybersecurity Awareness Month. In our world, where many aspects of our lives are tied to our computers and online connection, our online safety has become more significant. Around the globe this month, a month-long campaign is waged to raise awareness about the ever-evolving cyber threats and the crucial measures individuals and organizations need to take to protect themselves against these risks.

Below are five easy tips to help keep you, your family, and your information safe online. I know you are busy. I know it is not easy. I know you think you have better things to do with your time. I also know innocent people, like you and me, who have been victims of cybercrime. Given what scammers and con artists can take from you if they get into your cyber world, the time and effort you take NOW can save you much more time, energy, money, and damages tomorrow.

Tips for Your July 4th Holiday Weekend

Make Sure You Have All Your Fourth of July Party Supplies

Whether you are heading out to your backyard, or getting together with family or friends, the Fourth of July holiday is the unofficial start to summer and backyard party season. Here is a quick checklist to make your Fourth of July planning easier. Make it even easier by asking others to help. 

Fourth of July Party Checklist

  • Folding table, picnic table, festive tablecloth & napkins (maybe even a centerpiece!)
  • Lawn Chairs, folding chairs, camp chairs, umbrellas, or shade tents
  • Paper or plastic plates, cups, and eating utensils
  • Plenty of fresh water; a water dispenser & a cooler
  • Smores sticks, marshmallows, chocolates, and graham crackers
  • Bug spray, sunscreen, citronella candles
  • Flags, party favors, fireworks
  • Sprinkler, pool, water guns
  • Music, playing device, portable speakers
  • Backyard games, cornhole, dodge ball, badminton, Twister, or cards
  • First Aid kit
  • Towels, blankets
  • Paper towels and cleanup supplies

Now that the party is underway plan for a SAFE 4th of July. Here are a few tips to keep everyone safe during the festivities.

4th of July Safety Tips

  1. Before using any fireworks, read the instructions and labels carefully.
  2. Designate one responsible adult to monitor and be responsible for all Fireworks. Ensure your firework handler wears protective eyewear when handling and igniting fireworks.
  3. Create a Safe Area where you plan to ignite the fireworks. Ensure that friends and family are at a safe distance away and that trees, shelters, or shrubbery are not in the trajectory of the fireworks.
  4. Know where your water source is should anything unexpected occur. Keep a filled bucket of water handy. (the dog will love that!)
  5. Keep a keen eye out for the kids and people that act like kids during the fireworks.
  6. Have everyone maintain a safe distance from the fireworks to protect them from potential harm.
  7. Trash fireworks that didn’t light. Don’t relight. Wait and then soak those fireworks in water before disposing of them properly.
  8. Protect Your Pets! If your pet doesn’t like the noise of fireworks, leave them at home. If you bring your pet with you, make sure they are cool and comfortable. Their paws are sensitive and burn on the hot pavement just like your hand would. If it is too hot to touch for 10 seconds, it is too hot for your pet.

Tiny Habits to Improve Your Life

One of life’s rewards is having great friends that are bright, successful, articulate, and full of valuable information. For those of you that don’t know Mary Kelly, I am pleased to introduce you to my friend, Mary. Mary is an international speaker and the author of 15 books on topics such as leadership, business, and economics. After graduating from the United States Naval Academy and devoting over 20 years on active duty in intelligence and logistics, she retired from the Navy as a commander. She has a master’s degree in history and economics, a Ph.D. in economics, and always has a wealth of information to share. You can read more of Mary’s wisdom at https://productiveleaders.com. But first, enjoy Mary’s article on Tiny Habits You Can Do Today to Improve Your Life.

Tiny Habits You Can Do Today to Improve Your Life

Living your best life means something different to everyone. Your definition may be drastically different from the people close to you or your co-workers.

One of my favorite moments last week was talking to my Lyft driver. A retired chemical engineer, he drives because it is how he gets other people’s honest perspectives. “No one is trying to impress anyone during a drive,” he pointed out. “Passengers are honest about their lives and their opinions, and I learn from everyone.”

I love his perspective. He is fascinating! Why waste time when you can learn from talking with other people? His role of driving for a few hours a day evolved from his tiny habit of learning from someone else every day.

It is important to remember that there is a lot we cannot control, but we do have control over small amounts of time, and tiny changes in attitude and perspective make a difference.

Many people do not realize that small things add up to big things.

For example:

1. Walk a mile a day. That is 365 miles you walk that year.

2. Drink four ounces of water every hour from 7 AM to 7 PM. That is forty-eight ounces of water.

3. Write for 15 minutes a day and you have a manuscript in 90 days.

No matter where you are, you can improve by making minor changes. Tiny habits, compounded over time, produce amazing results.

Here are nine things you can do right now to change your life and increase your level of happiness:

1. Practice habit stacking. If you have been meaning to read more, but cannot seem to find the time, take the 5 minutes it takes your coffee to brew in the morning to read. Do not reach for your phone. Grab your book instead. This commitment is much easier because it is not a lot of time, and you are already spending that time waiting for your coffee. Another example is to floss right after brushing your teeth. You are already in the bathroom, so flossing is the next logical step.

2. Incorporate the 2-minute rule. Instead of committing to something for 20 minutes every day, commit to 2 minutes. Decide to walk for 2 minutes every day. Relieve stress by doing deep breathing exercises for 2 minutes. Clean out a drawer for 2 minutes. It is much easier to do something for 2 minutes than it is to carve out time for 20 minutes.

3. Set clear boundaries. Boundaries are necessary to keep us sane in both our personal and professional lives. Do you want to be available for clients 24/7, or would you like to handle business only during standard business hours? I know that I habitually work on weekends, but I don’t expect others to if those are not their working hours.

4. Identify the person you want to be. Use the right words to describe the type of person you want to be. Are you trying to quit smoking? You are a non-smoker. You are trying to become less messy? You are an organized person.

5. Find your community and join them to further commit to your habits. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people helps you keep that positive mindset. Think about going to the gym. We may not feel like going to the gym, but once we get there, we see other people who are working out and making an effort, so we do the same thing. It is the same at work. Align yourself with others in your industry or others who share your goals. Allow other people’s success to be a source of motivation.

6. Get back on the wagon. None of us are perfect. Donuts are my kryptonite. I really like donuts. One of the best donut stores on the entire planet is Horseshoe Donuts in Monument, Colorado. They have apple fritters, that way about 4 pounds. And they are delicious. Everything they have is delicious. I have dreams about their donuts. But I also don’t get to eat donuts every day. I might treat myself once every few months, but eating one donut is a treat. Eating donuts three days in a row is a habit. There are consequences for the donut. If I have a donut, I have to be extra healthy for a few days. If I skip a workout, I recommit to working out tomorrow. Most of us have good habits, so we cannot allow slip-ups to derail progress. Get back into positive habits right away. It is far easier to restart the habit immediately than to start all over again days later.

7. Don’t break the chain. Tracking your habits gives you a visual reminder of the progress you are making, and make sure tracking is a visual reminder of your attainable goal. For instance, if you want to improve your writing speed and skills, consider a goal of writing five hundred words per day for 30 days. Every day that you write, draw a giant x or smiley face on the calendar. After a few days, you may not feel like writing, but you don’t want to break the chain. At the end of 30 days, consider tracking for another 30 days. Seeing your progress gives you increased energy to keep moving forward.

8. Choose concrete goals instead of abstractions. “Getting healthy” or “start going to the gym” are not concrete goals. They are too abstract, and they do not lead to healthy habits. Instead, choose to do one easy health-related commitment, such as doing five sit-ups a day. You improve health, but the time investment is minimal. At some point, sit-ups every day will become second nature – a new habit – at which point you can add another tiny habit.

9. If you start too big, make your tiny habit tinier. We often set habits that are still too big because we are used to thinking big. If you cannot run for 30 minutes, drop it down to 30 seconds and add 30 seconds every day. If you cannot get motivated to go to the gym, let your first tiny habit be doing a jumping jack at home. Then your second tiny habit can be filling your water bottle. These tiny habits are meant to become automatic movements that you just do not think about once they are ingrained. In the end, all these tiny habits build on each other, and you will find yourself at the gym or running for 30 minutes.

Tiny habits are the stepping stones for our lifestyle. If something is not working, or we are not living our best life, then it is time to explore how to change our tiny habits, so we receive the outcome for which we work so hard.

Three Unique Ways to Handle the Guilt Inherent in Being a Parent

If you’re a parent, you may feel even more guilt than usual. If so, you are definitely not alone. Currently, the burden is on you to both carry on with your work and manage your child’s full-time care and education. Two full-time jobs that you’re trying to do by yourself, likely without teachers or care providers to help you.

If you are like most parents, you were probably struggling with guilt even before the virus. You simply can’t make it to every award ceremony or recital, and you might not have as much time to play with your kids or help them with their homework as you’d like. Those feelings of guilt may now be compounded by all the additional responsibilities you’ve had to take on in a short space of time.

Take a deep breath, and let me let you off the hook here for a minute. I have no doubt you are doing the best you can, and your kids see it, and know it too, even when they are being ungrateful pains in the rear.

I’ve got a few ideas about how to shift the guilt. They’re a little unconventional, but I invite you to give them a try and then message me to let me know how they went. We love hearing from you.

Let’s start with one thing that is fully within your control, can help to alleviate feelings that you are not doing enough, and that you can get handled easily, for free, right now – name legal guardians for your kids, so the people you want will take care of them, if anything happens to you.

Quality Time By Doing Nothing

While you’re probably already spending a significant amount of time with your kids, it may not be very high quality. But you may be too tired or overwhelmed to plan big activities, or the things you used to do for “quality time” may not be available.

So, what’s a parent to do?

Nothing.

Yes, you read that right, nothing. If you can take 15 minutes or so out of your day and do nothing with your child, it could be the best 15 minutes you spend with them, and with yourself, all day. Maybe you’ll even be able to stretch it to 30, 45 or 60 minutes of nothing. It’s truly one of the best gifts you can give to your kids, and the best part is you don’t have to do anything.

We hope this idea provides some relief from the guilt. You don’t have to do as much as you think. Mostly, your kids really just want to know you are there, and will give them your full attention, without screens, even if they aren’t paying attention to you.

Name Legal Guardians

If you have not already legally documented who you would want to raise your children, do it now. Legally documenting your choices for who you want to take care of your kids is a great first step to getting legal planning in place for the people you love. (Yes, I said “choices” because you want to name at least one person with two alternates.) And, doing so can provide you with a lot of relief, if you have not taken care of this yet for your kids.

So that’s one way to remove some of that mom or pop guilt you may have. And, here’s another…

Talk About It

If you’re on an emotional roller-coaster right now, your kids are probably having some similar struggles. This is an opportunity to connect with them, and a good time to show them a little vulnerability of your own. Remember how important sharing words of love and comfort can be, both to them and to you.

A friend of mine has three kids ranging from eight to fourteen, and she recently told me a story about a very special conversation with one of her children. After my friend had spent a few weeks juggling school, work responsibilities, and a million other household duties, she was feeling worn out and discouraged.

Then she took a quiet moment to just sit around and talk with her tween daughter and share some of what was going on for her, that it was hard, and how she was making it through. Out of the blue, to my friend’s surprise and gratitude, her child gave her a big hug and said, “You do so much to take care of us all the time. That must be so hard. Thank you.”

This special moment filled my friend’s heart, and it has gotten her through some tough days. And it never would have happened if she hadn’t taken a little time out to just talk with her kid, without a particular agenda.

Reach out for Support

If you have been feeling really alone and need support, reach out for help. Sometimes venting to your friends is enough, and chances are they’ll be able to relate! But if you are not getting the support you need, there are professionals who will communicate via phone and even text message. You can find local therapists and phone, video, and online therapists through Psychology Today’s directory.

Or, if family dynamics are rearing their head during these stressful times, and you want to keep your family out of court and conflict, your estate plan would go a long way towards relieving those stressors. Give us a call to see how we can help.

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This article is a service of Cris Carter Law. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session,™ during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before, and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $500 session at no charge.

The 5 Most Loving Things You Can Do For the People You Love In the New Year

It’s a new year, which means a new chance to do what you’ve been putting off until the time is right. That time is now.  Here are 5 of the most loving things you can do for the people you love in the New Year because at some point you will become sick or die.  And while we don’t like to think about it, the best way not to is to plan well and then put it out of your mind and live your life as if every day is your last.

1.  Make a plan.  A will, trust, power of attorney, health care directive and, if you have kids, a Kids Protection Plan® so you don’t leave your family to deal with an expensive court proceeding overseen by a judge who doesn’t know (or really care) about you or your family or unnecessary estate taxes.

2.  Write a letter or record a CD.  Pass on what really matters to your family — your values, insights, stories and experience — in written or recorded form so they can return to you long after you are gone.

3.  Pay for and plan your funeral.  Cremated or buried?  Ashes or body where? Yes or no to a viewing?  Make these decisions now and let your loved ones know, in writing, so they don’t have to wonder.  And consider pre-paying for your funeral expenses, so they don’t have to scramble in a time of grief.

4.  Plan to pay no taxes.  Will there be taxes on your estate and how will your heirs pay them, if so?  Meet with a Personal Family Lawyer® to be sure because you’d be surprised how small an estate can be to be at risk for estate taxes or other costs, especially if there’s insurance involved.  You don’t have to be rich to think about this.

5.  Get organized.  Let loved ones know where they can find your legal documents and other important paperwork, the key to your safe deposit box and be sure to include all of the password information to access online accounts, including email, Facebook, and other regularly accessed programs.

This month, in honor of the New Year, we have a “get organized” for your loved ones special going on here at Personal Family Lawyer® headquarters.  Be one of the first 5 families to get on our calendar this month and we’ll get you organized in our Family Wealth Planning Session, waive our normal $500 fee and send you home with all of your most important papers organized in a Family Financial Notebook that will make it simple as can be for your family if anything happens to you.