Lessons Learned in Care Giving

I recently had the opportunity to try on a new skill set due to circumstance, not choice. Luckily, exploring the role of caregiving opened my eyes to the intricate dance involving responsibility, compassion, and kindness. As I embarked on the journey of full-time (but thankfully short-term) caregiving, my mind kept reminding me, “You Are NOT a nurse; you NEVER EVER wanted to be a nurse! You are an attorney.” It became obvious to me that the skill set that had allowed me much success as an attorney throughout my life did not translate seamlessly into caretaking finesse.

So what did I do? I charged into this nursing role like I would any legal problem; like a warrior. I worked really hard, physically and emotionally, to be the best caretaker I could be. I worked hard to understand the medical terminology, communicate with doctors, nurses, and support staff, juggle medications, manage meals and physical care, and the list goes on and on. Could I nurse? Yes. Was I great at it? No. There were times when I felt I had done a task well, but face it, my bedside manner left a lot to be desired.

Talk about overwhelming! I searched for the lesson and the learning. What I found was a dose of humility and a profound respect for those who are caregivers. Only after I was nearing the end did I realize how much easier it would be next time. Let me share some tips and insights with you should you become a caretaker. From maintaining balance to self-care to strategies for providing the best care for your loved ones, I hope these tips provide insight, and perhaps support, for when you need it.

1. Create a Routine: A daily routine helps create a sense of security and predictability for the patient. This can also reduce the stress on caregivers.

2. Practice Self-Care: As a caregiver, it’s easy to forget about your own needs. Make sure to carve out time for yourself – whether that is exercise, reading, or simply taking a quiet moment to breathe.

3. Communicate Often: Keep the lines of communication open. Ask about your patient’s needs, their feelings, and any changes they may be experiencing. Don’t think you know it all, or that you know best. Listening to the patient can lead to better care and mutual respect. (Remember: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know!)

4. You are Not Alone: Ask for help. Realize that people don’t know what you need. Tell them what you need and ask for help. You will be surprised at the number of people that will say yes and offer to help. There are also support groups and community resources that can provide much-needed emotional support, as well as practical advice and resources.

5. Stay Organized: Keep track of medications, appointments, and important documents. Do not rely on your memory or the patient’s memory. Keep a notebook or use a phone app or other online tools to help manage all the details.

6. Learn About Your Patient’s Condition: Education is key. Attend appointments and ask questions. If your patient has a specific health condition, educate yourself about it. The more you understand their condition, the better you can manage their care.

7. Be Patient: Caregiving can be challenging and frustrating at times. Remember to be patient – with your loved one and yourself. It’s okay if everything doesn’t go perfectly. You’re doing your best. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. You’re not alone in this journey.

Spring Pea Pesto

Quick, easy, versatile, and deliciously vibrant! Use this as a dip, spread, or sauce for pasta. Welcome, spring!

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups peas, either frozen and thawed- or use fresh English peas
  • 1/2 cup packed mixed herbs- mint, tarragon or dill
  • zest of one lemon
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon minced chives or green onion
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/8 cup olive oil
Directions:In a food processor add peas, mixed herbs, lemon zest, lemon juice, chives (or green onion), salt, pepper and olive oil.Pulse for a few minutes until the peas break down but are still textured.Serve immediately or store in the fridge for 3 days.Enjoy!
Feasting At Home: Spring Pea Pesto

Empowering Happiness

In the chaotic rhythm of our everyday lives, finding equilibrium between work, personal life, and self-care is pivotal for well-being. What a challenge it is to maintain your journey toward a healthier, happier life by prioritizing self-care habits, including regular exercise and a balanced diet, while ensuring your physical and mental health. And let’s not forget the importance of nurturing social connections. Research has proven time and time again that quality relationships are the heart of happiness and mental well-being.

As we navigate the intricacies of our own personal well-being, it’s equally important to shift our focus toward the future, contemplating the legacy we want to leave behind. Enter the subject of estate planning – a profound investment that truly transcends financial considerations. I want to share with you a few compelling reasons to prioritize this essential aspect of life:

  1. Safeguarding Your Loved Ones: Estate planning ensures that your assets are dispersed according to your wishes. Imagine the peace of mind that comes with knowing your loved ones will be financially secure and your legacy will endure.
  2. Mitigating Family Conflicts: A meticulously designed estate plan acts as a safeguard against potential disputes among family members. The clarity it provides in asset distribution diminishes the probability of conflicts, particularly during an already emotionally charged period.
  3. Empowering Your Legacy: Beyond material possessions, estate planning allows you to sculpt your legacy. Contemplate charitable contributions or the establishment of trusts supporting causes that are close to your heart. This empowers you to make a lasting impact on the community, shaping a legacy that transcends generations.
  4. Adapting to Life Changes: Acknowledge the dynamism of life and its ever-changing circumstances. Estate planning, when approached with foresight, offers flexibility. Regular reviews and updates ensure your plan aligns with evolving goals, family dynamics, and financial situations.
  5. Financial Efficiency: Beyond asset transfer, estate planning plays a pivotal role in minimizing financial hardship on your loved ones after you have passed. A well-crafted plan can also potentially reduce the tax burden on your estate, leaving more for your loved ones and the causes you care about.

Empower yourself by recognizing that estate planning is not merely a financial task but a proactive step towards shaping your future and leaving a meaningful legacy. With careful consideration and foresight, this process not only benefits you but becomes a gift that resonates through generations. It can be a delicate dance between personal well-being and the legacy you choose to leave behind. Let Cris Carter Law help you navigate this life balance.

Herby Dutch Baby With Smoked Salmon

Take this classic breakfast dish for a spin with added herbs and smoked salmon. It is fast, fresh, and downright beautiful!

Ingredients:

  • ½ small red onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 lemon, halved
  • ¾ tsp. Diamond Crystal or ½ tsp. Morton kosher salt, plus more
  • 4 large eggs, room temperature
  • 1 large egg white, room temperature
  • 2 garlic cloves, finely grated
  • 1 (packed) cup baby spinach
  • ⅔ cup whole milk, room temperature
  • 1 cup tender herb leaves (such as dill, cilantro, basil, and/or parsley), plus more for serving
  • ⅔ cup (83 g) all-purpose flour
  • 2 Tbsp. cornstarch
  • Freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, cut into pieces
  • 4 oz. smoked salmon
Directions:
1. Place a rack in middle of oven and place a medium ovenproof skillet, preferably cast iron, on rack. Preheat oven to 425°. Place onion in a small bowl; squeeze in juice of ½ lemon and add a big pinch of salt; set aside. Slice remaining ½ lemon into wedges and set aside for serving.

2. Blend eggs and egg white in a blender on high speed until very frothy, about 1 minute. Add garlic, spinach, milk, and 1 cup herbs and blend on high speed until well combined and very green. Add flour, cornstarch, and ¾ tsp. Diamond Crystal or ½ tsp. Morton kosher salt and season with lots of pepper; blend to combine.

3. Carefully remove skillet from oven. Add butter to pan and swirl to coat bottom. Immediately pour batter into pan and bake pancake until puffed and brown around the edges, 20–25 minutes. (It will start to deflate as soon as it comes out of the oven, but don’t worry, that’s normal.)

4. Top Dutch baby with smoked salmon, onion, and more herbs; season with pepper. Serve with reserved lemon wedges for squeezing over.
Bon Appetit: Herby Dutch Baby with Smoked Salmon

If You Have An LLC Or Corporation; Pay Attention To This New Law!

Many people think that the law is black and white; a rigid set of rules cast in stone. Being in the legal profession, I know the law is changing all the time. The changes in the law keeps me on my toes for sure as the law tries to respond to the ever-changing circumstances of our world. Sometimes those changes result in additional burdens; sometimes additional opportunities. Let’s look at two laws that have recently changed and how they may affect you.

If you have a beneficial interest in an LLC or a Corporation created before January 1, 2024, you are now required to file FinCEN’s Beneficial Ownership Information Form under the Corporate Transparency Act (CTA). Even if your LLC is dormant (you don’t use it); or even if the LLC only owns one piece of rental property, each beneficial owner must file the document or be subject to a fine of $500 per day up to $10,000. Ouch! Let’s not take a chance on paying fines. You are deemed a beneficial owner If you own or control 25% or more of a “reporting company.” This reporting requirement is separate and apart and in addition to any state or local filing done to form a new business entity.

If you create an LLC or a Corporation after January 1, 2024, within 90 days of forming that entity, you must file a report with the Department of the Treasury’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network

Is There Any Good News for LLCs and Corporations?

I had to dig deep to find the good news. Good News: You don’t have to pay any filing fees. More Good News: One and Done. You only have to do this once per entity as long as the beneficiary ownership doesn’t change. Even More Good News: You can file online at the new federal database called BOSS (an acronym for Beneficial Ownership Secure System). Better Good News. The reporting is easy to complete. Given that the purpose of the reporting is to prevent the use of anonymous shell companies for money laundering, tax evasion, and other illegal purposes, you could think of yourself as a modern-day Robin Hood. I’m stretching high to pick that fruit.

You can satiate your curiosity here: Beneficial Ownership Information Reporting

Helping Your Grandchildren

We all know that there’s a special place in our hearts for grandchildren as they often bring joy and special moments to our lives. Well now it is easier for grandparents to help their grandchildren with educational expenses.

The FAFSA Simplification Act, which went into effect last month (Dec 2023), now makes it possible for grandparents to make contributions to a 529 college savings plan for your grandchildren without impacting the student beneficiary’s eligibility for federal financial aid. A 529 plan also applies to qualified vocational training and trade schools.

The 529 Account

A 529 college savings account is a special savings account designed to help individuals, including grandparents, set aside money for future college expenses. Although contributions aren’t federally tax-deductible, the earnings within the 529 account grow tax-free and remain untaxed when they are withdrawn for qualified education expenses.

What The New Rule Changes

When the account owner is a dependent student or custodial parent, the total value of the 529 plan is reported as an investment asset on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). Previously, if a grandparent owned the 529 plan, any distributions were considered untaxed income for the student, potentially affecting financial aid eligibility. The upcoming change eliminates this concern.

In summary, a 529 plan owned by a grandparent will no longer require reporting on the FAFSA. Even more impactful, distributions from this grandparent-owned 529 plan will not be deemed untaxed income for the student. This allows grandparents to contribute to their grandchild’s education without jeopardizing financial aid eligibility.

Maximizing Grandparent Contributions

It’s important to keep the following in mind when you make contributions to a 529 account for a grandchild:

1 | Funds Must Be Used For Qualified Educational Expenses

Grandparents can use 529 plan funds for a range of qualified educational expenses, including tuition, room and board, books, supplies, laptops, and internet access. However, expenses such as insurance, student health fees, transportation, and extracurriculars are not covered and may incur a ten percent penalty if 529 plan funds are used toward these expenses.

2 | The Annual Gift Exclusion

While grandparents can contribute to their grandchild’s 529 plan, it’s essential to be mindful of the federal annual gift exclusion which currently stands at $18,000 for an individual ($36,000 if you file jointly with a spouse), which is the amount of money a person can gift to someone else without needing to file a gift tax return.

3 | Reconsider Payments Made Directly to The School

Distributions directly paid to the school from grandparent-owned 529 accounts will not affect aid eligibility. However, for now, it’s recommended to pay the grandchild directly.

4 | Timing Matters

The withdrawing of funds from the 529 plan must be done within the same tax year as the educational expenses in adherence to tax regulations.

5 | Watch Your Withdrawal Limits

The amount withdrawn from all 529 plans should be no more than the total cost of the qualified educational expenses billed by the school. Excess withdrawals may incur a 10 percent penalty, but there’s a 60-day window to rectify the situation without penalties.

Naming Godparents Does Not Create Legal Guardians

As we start this holiday season, it’s a great time to think about the love of our families. I hope you are blessed this holiday season and will have the opportunity to make many wonderful memories with loved ones.

As a parent, my top priority, of course, was the well-being and future of my children. I am sure that is one of your top priorities as well. You plan for your children’s future, their education, their health, and their happiness.

Godparents

Often, this planning includes the tradition of choosing godparents to guide and mentor your children if something happens to you. A godparent is traditionally someone you name to watch over your child and help them live according to your morals and values. Godparents are meant to be mentors and role models, guiding your child in matters of faith, morality, and character. The role of a godparent is deeply rooted in religious and cultural traditions.

While selecting godparents may be a meaningful tradition, it’s important to understand that naming a godparent is not the same thing as naming a legal guardian for your children. To put it bluntly, even if your child has godparents, if something happens to you, your children could end up in the care of strangers, child protective services, or in the long-term care of someone you would never want raising your children.

Legal Guardians

Naming a legal guardian for your child is a formal, legal process. A legal guardian is someone who has the legal authority to make decisions on behalf of your child, especially if you, as the parent, are unable to do so. This could occur due to your passing, incapacity, or even a temporary situation where you are not available to provide care or make important legal, financial, healthcare, or education decisions for your child. The responsibilities of a legal guardian encompass every area of your child’s life that you would normally manage as a parent. This includes everything from feeding and clothing your child to deciding where they go to school, attending parent-teacher meetings, and which extracurricular activities they participate in. Legal guardianship also includes the decisions about where your child lives and what medical treatment they should or should not receive.

Why Naming Godparents Isn’t Enough

While godparents may be deeply caring and involved in your child’s life, they have no legal authority to make decisions for your child unless they are officially appointed as legal guardians by the court. That means that until that happens (if it happens), your child’s godparents are not legally able to make any decisions for your children, including their basic care needs, education, and medical care.

Without a legal guardian designation (and, ideally, more than one) in writing and signed with the formalities of a Will, godparents may find themselves in an expensive court battle over custody rights, and they may not even be named as the legal guardians of your children at all. In fact, the court could name someone you would never want raising your kids as their legal guardian.

Life-long Legal Protection for Kids

If you’ve already chosen people you trust to serve as lifelong role models and spiritual guardians for your children as their godparents, why not give those people the legal authority to truly perform those duties if something happens to you?

But don’t stop there. The best way to keep your children safe and secure is to create a comprehensive protection plan that keeps your children in the care of the people you choose, no matter what. Ensure your children are protected. Ensure that the authorities know who to contact in an emergency and who can authorize prompt medical care. Make sure your children are never placed in protective custody – even for a minute.

Paying It Forward: How to Build Your Legacy Through Mentoring

I can readily look back and see those people who have profoundly impacted my success, both as a child and as an adult. I had, and still have, teachers and mentors that helped me build my character and ultimately assisted me in becoming successful. I couldn’t have done it without them. I will forever be grateful!

Opportunities to mentor abound. Have you tried it? One of the ways that I give back now is through the youth group at my church. Every Wednesday evening, you will find me sitting on the floor in a room with 7th-grade girls. Why? Because I know how important having a mentor can be and I have an opportunity to play a role in the lives of these young women.

By investing time and effort in mentoring, you demonstrate the essence of leadership and envision a brighter future for the coming generations by actively nurturing and passing on knowledge to younger individuals.

Mentees benefit when they are encouraged to pursue their goals and work towards a brighter future. Not only does mentoring give you the opportunity to invest in the life of another person, but it can also provide you with a unique perspective on your life and a chance to create a lasting impact in the community. As you engage in the mentorship process, you’ll find yourself reflecting on your own goals, seeking to provide a valuable experience for those you mentor.

As an Estate Planning lawyer, I recognize that true success and satisfaction arise from building a legacy that reflects who you are and your values as a leader- both personally and professionally. I have adopted a heart-centered approach to help individuals define and build their estate plans and their legacies. To discover how I can assist you in achieving your vision, schedule a free 15-minute call to discuss your plans and dreams for your family and your future.

Make Family Communication All That it Can Be!

No relationship is immune to conflict. Sooner or later, you, your partner, your children, and others in a relationship with you are bound to not see eye-to-eye about something. Research shows it is how you handle communication with others that will determine both the health and success of your relationships. And we all want our relationships to be as healthy as possible, right? Check out the infographic below from The Gottman Institute. Perhaps you have never heard of The Gottman Institute. The Gottman Institute is a resource that I have followed for years and that I have found to have great value in helping me understand how to communicate with others more successfully. What I have learned from The Gottman Institute has benefitted me personally, professionally, and in every aspect of life, which is why I am sharing it with you. I encourage you to learn about The Four Horsemen. Even more important is learning how to avoid having The Four Horsemen be part of your communication patterns. You can access more information from The Gottman Institute here.

Better Together!

Today is a huge happy Tuesday for me, and I am beyond excited to share my joy. But first, for those who don’t know my story, let me share some bits and pieces with you.

I was raised in Florida, was educated in Florida, raised my family in Florida, and practiced law in Florida. Fifty years of life in Florida, and I never thought I would ever leave Florida.

As we know, life changes, and at the prospect of my grandchildren being born and raised in Colorado, Florida lost its hold on me. I happily moved to Colorado to assume my grandmotherly role and become CoCo (my grandmother name). What could be more perfect than a part-time position on Tuesdays and Thursdays where love, relationships, connection, stretching, and learning with the grandchildren was the reality? My life was beyond wonderful.

But, as we all know, sometimes life changes, and the unexpected happens. When my husband died, I hurt. Frankly, I had never experienced such a tremendous loss, and I didn’t think I could go on. However, there were others that were not willing to let me give up. With the love and support of my children, grandchildren, and many close friends in Colorado and Florida, life changed. It looked different, but it did go on. I developed a new rhythm because I had to. And two short years later (time pretty much stands still as you grieve the loss of someone you dreamed of living out your life with), my daughter and her family announced that they were moving to Dallas, Texas.

They were kind and invited me to move with them to Dallas. However, it just didn’t seem like I should tag along. So, I stayed put. And again, I grieved a loss. I hurt, and I was alone. I spent a lot of time in Dallas. I would go to Dallas for holidays, special occasions, and grandchildren’s events. A new rhythm developed. Not ideal, but the best I could make of it.

And it bears repeating that we all know that sometimes life changes and the unexpected happens. And so it does. I have been walking on cloud nine as my daughter and family announced at the end of last year that they were coming home to Fort Collins. And today is THE day that they arrive!!!!

This (grand)mother’s HEART is so full. Not much more to say than that. So let me leave you with words from Jack Johnson’s song, “Better Together:”

“Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart.

Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it’s so hard?

It’s not always easy, and sometimes life can be deceiving.

—- Well, it’s always better when we’re together.

Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together!”

Listen to the full song here.