When creating an estate plan, people are often most concerned with passing on the “big things” like real estate, bank accounts, and vehicles. Yet these possessions very often aren’t the items that have the most meaning for the loved ones we leave behind. Instead, our family heirlooms and keepsakes are prized for their sentimental value. When there is no plan for distributing these items, it can create bitter conflicts among family members. Indeed, fights over heirlooms and keepsakes can cause close family members to never speak with one another again.
In her book “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” Professor Marlene S. Stum, an expert in family social science at the University of Minnesota, warns of the infighting that can occur when there’s no plan for who inherits these personal effects.
“What surprises many people is that often the transfer of non-titled personal property creates more challenges among family members than the transfer of titled property,” says Stum. “Research has shown that disputes over inheritance and property distribution are one of the major reasons for adult siblings to break off relationships with one another.”
Some of the most common examples of the personal property people leave to loved ones include the following:
- Jewelry
- Photographs
- Books
- Art
- Musical instruments
- Furniture
- Clothing
- Bibles
- Recipes
- Family documents (such as birth certificates, baptism records, and citizenship papers)
- Collections (such as sports memorabilia, coins, stamps, and doll collections)
Strategies For Peacefully Distributing Personal Property
While there is no perfect way to distribute these items in your estate plan, your primary goal should be to maintain harmony among your loved ones during an already emotional time. As with most sensitive issues, clear communication is vital to this process.
Because your family members may have clear ideas about how they feel about certain items, you should speak with each family member in advance. You will have a much better idea of how to distribute these items to your loved ones with the least amount of conflict by talking with family members about their feelings and expectations regarding your possessions ahead of time
The manner in which you distribute your valued items of personal property will depend on the items you have and your specific family situation. Here are a few estate planning strategies to consider when passing on these precious possessions.
Gifting during your lifetime: You don’t have to wait until you die to pass on those things that may be precious and that you want your loved ones to have. By giving the gift during your lifetime, you get to witness the joy your loved one’s experience when they receive it, and you can also personally explain the reasons you want each person to have a particular item. Just remember if your heirlooms and/or keepsakes have a high monetary value, you should keep gift tax issues in mind when you give them away. That said, the IRS has a high annual gift tax exclusion this year of $16,000 (2022) and an equally high lifetime exclusion ($12.06 million in 2022), however, that lifetime exclusion amount will revert back to its pre-2018 level of around $5 million per individual in 2026, so if you are considering gifting high-value possessions, you may want to do it sooner, rather than later.
Include items in your estate plan using a personal property memorandum: As with other assets you want to pass on after your death, you should include heirlooms and keepsakes in your estate plan by adding them to your will or trust. The best way to do this is by using what’s known as a personal property memorandum.
A personal property memorandum is a separate document that is referenced in your will or living trust and used with tangible personal property. The memorandum allows you to list which items you wish to leave to each individual. In many states, if it’s properly incorporated into your will or trust, a personal property memorandum is a legally binding document. Furthermore, unlike a will or trust, you can create and update your memorandum without your lawyer’s help.
Tangible personal property does not include real estate, titled property such as vehicles; accounts, and assets with a beneficiary designation, such as life insurance, 401(k)s, or intellectual property, such as works protected by a copyrights or trademark.
Pass on the values & stories behind the possessions: You may want to consider making audio recordings to accompany your heirlooms and keepsakes. In this way, your loved ones not only get to hear your voice, but they will also be able to learn the stories behind the possessions, as well as the reasons why you gave each person a particular item.
These stories help connect you with future generations, building a strong family narrative that helps young people develop strong personal identities and boosts their self-esteem. In the New York Times article, “The Stories that Bind Us,” author Bruce Feiler comments on this phenomenon: “The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem, and the more successfully they believed their families functioned.”
Best of all, you don’t have to worry about creating these recordings yourself, as we offer this exact service during our Family Wealth Legacy Interviews. In every estate plan we create for our clients, we will personally guide you to create a customized recording for the people you love, and then we will provide you with the recording digitally to ensure it will survive long after you are gone.
Don’t Let Anything Fall Through The Cracks
Of course, if no one can find your heirlooms and keepsakes, they aren’t going to do anybody any good. For this reason, it’s vital that you create and maintain a comprehensive inventory of all of your assets, including each of your family heirlooms and keepsakes. Fortunately, this is another service we offer all of our clients at no additional charge. Indeed, we will not only help you create a comprehensive asset inventory, we have systems in place to make sure your inventory stays consistently updated throughout your lifetime.
Keep The Peace After You Are Gone
To ensure your heirlooms and keepsakes don’t create any unnecessary conflicts among your heirs, make sure that your estate plan includes all of your assets, especially your family heirlooms and keepsakes. As your lawyer, we can support you to ensure these precious treasures are protected and preserved as part of your Life & Legacy Plan, and that they pass to each of your loved ones in exactly the manner you would want, without causing a family feud. Contact us today to learn more.
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